Ten Strategies for Conflict Resolution
• When angry, separate yourself from the situation and take time to cool out. When we are angry our rational thinking is not at best. Taking time to cool off will give you time to be yourself and not rash out unnecessarily and worsen a situation which can be solved without being bullish.
• Attack the problem, not the person. Start with a compliment. Mostly we tend to attack the person not the problem. Understand we are dealing with a mistake deliberate or not. Look for a solution not another problem.
• Communicate your feelings assertively, NOT aggressively. Express them without blaming. Blame almost always does not resolve a conflict. In fact it will fuel the problem a little bit more. Desist yourself of that blame game and look at the problem logically.
• Focus on the issue, NOT your position about the issue. We all have our own opinion and how it should be. Take the time to see the other side of the story.
• Accept and respect that individual opinions may differ, don’t try to force compliance, work to develop common agreement. It might take time but you would amaze yourself of the outcome when a compromised solution is reached.
• Do not review the situation as a competition, where one has to win and one has to lose. Work toward a solution where both parties can have some of their needs met. Repeat until it sinks into your brain; this is not a competition… We are just trying to come to an agreement where we both can be happy to some extent. After all we live in a world we should know how to collaborate and live in harmony to exist.
• Focus on areas of common interest and agreement, instead of areas of disagreement and opposition. Ask yourself what do both parties agree on and why? And why not? Am I thinking reasonable and rationally?
• NEVER jump to conclusions or make assumptions about what another is feeling or thinking. This is almost always the major cause and a start of a conflict as I see. Get your facts straight from the source. Do not assume or conclude what might be.
• Listen without interrupting; ask for feedback if needed to assure a clear understanding of the issue. I know when we are angry we are too eager to speak our mind. Don’t. That’s a terrible way of making yourself uncomfortable and undermines the opinion of the person you have a conflict with. No one wins in this situation.
• Remember, when only one person’s needs are satisfied in a conflict, it is NOT resolved and will continue. If only you are talking it’s only you are represented. The other person feels invalidated and you add more confusion to a problem. To fulfill both of your need ask help from the other to reach a solution. Together try to find a happy medium.
• Forget the past and stay in the present. May be some past action effecting both of you. Don’t let it happen. Talk it over. Communication, communication, …. Remember!
• Build ‘power with’ NOT ‘power over’ others. Just b’cause you state what you think and storm off of a situation doesn’t mean you win and the other lost. It’s just a childish way of trying to resolve a conflict. To build power with others you should stay firm of your opinion and be flexible enough to analyze and realize that your position is correct. And you can meet the other person’s opinion half way without compromising both of your values. When you both feel heard and satisfied you’ve built ‘power with’ the other person.
• Thank the person for listening. Say Thank You always. It’s not only good etiquette’s it fulfills our human nature to be acknowledged, and valued.
Be courteous always. Remember: “People will Remember How You Made Them Feel” not necessarily what you said to them.
This was Developed by Holistic Stress Control Institute, Inc. and Distributed by the State Wellness Program, a program of the Employee’s Benefits Council.
And I decided to add little more to this valuable document and make it available for people and companies who could use this. Print this and keep it in your lunch room.
And also the value of negotiation and conflict resolution is a part of all of our daily lives whether at work or in our personal lives. And hope you benefit and think of this before make a situation get out of hand and comes to a point where it cannot be resolved.
Remember your pride depends on how you handle a conflict not you won an argument at any cost. I like when Apple Co-founder Steve Woznick, admits that they shouldn’t be in a law suit with Samsung but adding value to people and their products.
How do you handle conflict resolution? Share with us.
And if you want to learn more attend this program for “Influence and Negotiation Strategies Program,” offered by Stanford University for $11,000.00 in October 2013. I think Conflict Resolution is part of this broad topic of influence, and negotiation strategies.